Juvenoia

by Druggist

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price

     

1.
2.
3.
4.
03:20
5.
6.
03:48
7.
02:25
8.
9.
03:10
10.
03:58
11.
12.
03:19

credits

released June 5, 2017

All songs written and performed by Blake Cormier and Zach Dunlap.

Recorded and engineered by Blake Cormier and Zach Dunlap in San Francisco, CA, San Antonio, TX, Phnom Penh, Cambodia, St. Petersburg, Russia, Tel Aviv, Israel and Columbus, OH.

Mixed by Blake Cormier in Columbus, OH.

Carly A. Garza sang on "I'm Sorry I Love You" and her vocals were tracked by Jackson Floyd in Seattle, WA.

Mastered by Scott McChane in Alameda, CA.

Cover image collage by Blake.

Thanks so much to Scott, Carly and Jackson and to anyone who listens to this record.

Thanks for the inspiration: Cormac McCarthy, Michael from vsauce and PJ Harvey.

tags

license

all rights reserved
Track Name: Doomed Enterprises
It's just another doomed enterprise
yes, I think we have been here before.
Your inability to empathize, though pathological,
keeps you from being a bore.
It's not the sanest way to weed folks out
but "utilitarian" "just" and "fitting" come to mind,
and if you always have to break my will
I guess it's worth it to leave all your bullshit behind.

But I'm sitting alone with my hands on my head
hypnotized by the drone of everything thing you said
and I'll walk all by myself if that's what it takes
because I carry with me all of my mistakes.

The better part of me can't give a shit
about all your over-calculated risks.
I'm reaching past the point of compromise
any time that I make myself try.
So come a little bit closer next time
and we can try to pretend to relate.
Though even if you have to break your hands
you're gonna wrestle me from my fate.

If it works, then it works, so don't try fixing it
even if it's not healthy or makes any sense,
and you don't have to tell me it's all in my head
because all that I want is to do it again and again.

After a while the east will grey
and everything will eventually illuminate
and we won't have to touch or walk away,
without distinction, over the cities and plains.
Track Name: Down on Yourself
Don't wanna see you down on yourself.
Don't wanna see you uptight.
Don't wanna see look away.
Don't wanna see you hide your eyes.

Why must you and I take a back seat to these pampered artists?

I'm after your head.
I'm after your pedestal.
I'm after your luxuries.
I'm after you, don't think you've played me for a fool.
After all these years, it doesn't add up.
I look to friends and peers and we're onto and after you.
Track Name: Metamorphose or Calcify
You'll try to take your grip
and loosen me from the shadow that I've always known.
But maybe that's just it,
you're too terrified to turn your back on your home.
But i can't countenance
denying truth in the face of what you've always known.
When they tell you to quit
that's how you know that you're forging a path of your own.

Metamorphose or calcify.
Never start being satisfied.
Inwardly we will pacify, now that we're in the fade of life.

I could have told you
you'll get nothing listening back to it now.
It's done and over
but still echoes back interlaced in the sound
of time growing older,
falling out of your grip on its way to the ground.
And I can't hold you
just because it's not what I need right now.

Metamorphose or calcify.
Never start being satisfied.
Inwardly we will pacify, now that we're in the fade of life.
Track Name: Back in Town
Hey, I'm back in town.
I can't believe I stuck around for so long.
It looks like the same ol' clowns still got the music scene on lockdown.

It's kind of sad when you think about it,
but that's what comes with a lack of talent.
Just have to laugh when I look back on it.
We had no chance before we started.

Expanding black hole, San Antonio.

This could be any other town,
though memories rain down like hammers.
It's weird to even come around
when everyone's still frozen in amber.

Circle the globe and no one will notice.
We sing our lives, but nobody knows us.
With every chance laid right out before them
hanging around, killing time, is chosen.

Expanding black hole, San Antonio.
Where else can we go?
Anywhere but home.
Track Name: Talking to You
Hours started melting away
as you were talking to me
and I was talking to you.

So many words,
so many thoughts I need to sing out in a song.
So many words.
I keep trying to capture them but they've already gone.

And now they're all floating away,
blurring in the grey and nameless decay.
At times I think I'm there, too

So many words.
So many thoughts I need to sing out in a song.
So many words.
I keep trying to capture them but they've already gone.

But then we start talking again
and now there's something I can reach out and grab.
And this time I'm gonna make it count.

'Cause hours start just melting away
any time you're talking to me
and I'm talking to you.
Track Name: Anxiety
I got it bad.
Anxiety.
Man, it used to be worse.
An invisible curse.
Anxiety.

I had trouble at first.
A blessing or a curse?
Anxiety.
Track Name: Selffy Klub
You sit in silence, miserably,
pretending to always be so happy when you're not.
But, hey, just look at the shot you took of yourself...

You do alright pretending that you're listening
while you're thumbing your phone so mindlessly
making sure that you never feel all alone
confronted by all the shit that you just won't own.

It's not a problem of society.
It's not an issue with technology.
It's not just something that bothers me.
It's a symptom of a bigger thing.

For every single person that you meet
there's a dingy lens through which you're viewing.
Everything that you see becomes magnified
by the self-centered fears you've got burning inside...

It's not a problem of society.
It's not an issue with technology.
It's not just something that bothers me.
It's a symptom of a bigger thing.
Track Name: I'm Sorry I Love You
We're barely young.
You're right, what's the matter?
I'm still unsung.
So what? So what?
I'm lost to everyone.
Everyone's been scattered across what you know.

I talk smack, it shoots back
my mind's racked when it's said and done.
I try to approach you, you know it's a problem.

We're so caught up, we fail love and make love despite it.
In this situation we both lost the good fight for good.
We both lost the good fight.

I talk smack, it shoots back.
My mind's racked when it's said and done.
I try to approach you, you know it's a problem.

We're hardly young.
You're right, what's the matter?
I'm still unsung.
So what? So what?
I'm lost to everyone.
Everyone's been scattered across what you know.

I talk smack, it shoots back
My mind's racked when it's said and done.
I tried to approach you, you knew it was a problem.
I talked smack, it shot back.
My mind's said and done.
It's all said and done.
We're all said and done.
Track Name: Living Will
I want a real death.
I want a real death, soon.
Can it be a quick one?
Is that okay with you?

Don't call me melancholy, this ain't my youth.
Don't call me cynical, I have the proof.

I want a real death, soon.
Track Name: No
Don't think, don't sleep alone.
Don't dream, don't leave your home.
There's no work, your body is getting old.
Settle down boy, just accept this role.
It's easier.

No.

She came to me in the winter of 2010.
All I could think was "where the hell have I been?"
"White Chalk," "Stories from the sea."
"Who the fuck," she's got me on my knees.
But I'll never meet her.

No.
Track Name: When I Was Done
I wrote this song about you
when I was done giving any fucks.
It was a weird one like you,
which seemed appropriate and such.

And now I can't burn the truth away
just because I don't like what I see,
even though I don't see you no more.

I moved along without you,
bearing the brunt for the both of us.
You couldn't recall the truth
once you'd forgotten how to trust.

And now you can scream "anchors aweigh,"
claiming to feel it in your bones,
though everyone can see it's only skin-deep.

Time has brought new light to things
and the breaks that I gave to you
that I wouldn't even give myself.

I should have held out longer.
I should have known there's no going back.
But there's this drive inside me
that just won't let me face the facts.

You know that you can't burn the truth away
just because you don't like what you see.
And claiming it happened differently
won't lighten that anchor you're dropping
whenever you finally walk away.
Track Name: Juvenoia
It started while you're away.
Inside, I started awaking to something:
each step that i ever take towards you pulls me away from something else.

I can't just blame it on something else.

There's something I meant to say,
but i'm afraid that it might destroy you.
I follow culture today and it just fills me with juvenoia.

I've heard everybody say
"just ignore it if you can't stand it."
The best of it's just okay when mediocrity is the standard.

I can't just blame it on something else.

When they all spin in their graves
then I'll feel like I've accomplished something.
It grows and moves like a plague.
The desperation can be unnerving.

I can't help but hesitate
when asked to provide a new solution.
It's laughable, but to say that I could change it would be delusional.

I can't just blame it on something else.

You touched me in a new place.
I tried to beat it, but I can't shake you.

I still remember your taste.
How long's it been since?